when all this is done
Thursday, March 13, 2008
this picture prob describes the way i feel better than any words could. it feels like i'm stuck in this in-between world where i had to make my choice of worlds to live in. and once i chose this world that i'm living in right now, i can't help but just stand rigid or in this case,sit, and stare and wonder all the coulda-woulda-shouldas of the other world.but i can't help it. not when there was so much at stake.i know it seemed cold and emotionless. but u cannot begin to imagine the spectra of feelings i was feeling at that exact moment that was NOT driven by the alcohol. you will never know the effect you had/have on me. you were the one i believed in. the one i was finally serious about. the one i fell in love with. and to top it all off, you broke my "curse" remember?! my memories of this are bittersweet. more sweet than bitter thou. i remember how at one particular point in time i told this friend of mine that i believed with all my heart that you were my karma boy! oh and remember new year's eve in church and the events prior to that? :) i'll never forget. honestly i'm just being realistic bout all this. seriously. it kills me that i won't be there for you. you prob think it's a whole load of bull but i mean shit and life happens. maybe someday. and no. i won't forget the second chance thing in a few weeks.
someone needs to tear me away from this before I crash and burn.
Soundtrack: Mandy Moore & Jonathan Foreman - Someday we'll know
Becky
