• anticipation
• to regard as likely
• to require as an obligation
• something looked forward to, whether feared or hoped for
• belief that someone should behave in a particular way

in my frivolous opinion, expectations are just those little things created to make your life hell. honestly. we'd be better off without them. all they leave behind are broken hearts, tainted dignities, screwed up hopes and lots and lots of painful,tarnished memories. and since we're all for making the world a better place, we should just get rid of expectations along with all that carbon monoxide and global warming that has made sum glacial thingy at the top of Mount Everest melt.

seriously. expectation was what made that 30 year old dude who just lost his job jump over the ledge. it makes that girl stick her finger down her throat after every sorry excuse for a meal. it causes the mother to sigh and cringe in embarassment and disappointment for every A her child does not get. it drives the 14 year old teenage boy to light a cigarette for the first time. it pushes that 18 year old girl to give that marijuana joint a go.

but as heart breaking as expectations are, they bring with it hope. pure, untainted, shit-free hope. which sucks. because as much as i wanna throw it away and flush it down some toilet bowl or whatever, it helps me wake up in the morning. expecting a better tomorrow. it's so cliched it kills me. honestly, i hate expectations. right down to its very gut. if i were to meet expectation, i mean if it was a person, i'd probably slap it silly. then say sorry and cry. and then ask it to disappear into oblivion. before asking it to come back. yup. don't we all have a love-hate relationship with expectation? it's pretty ironic thou. this whole expecting business. say u expect to get an A1 for ur umm.. Math. and u end up getting a B4. u don't start wallowing in ur self-pity and go " oh well. that's it for me n math." u start feeling that adrenaline-like burst of kiasu-ism that we inherited from our neighbours across the Tebrau Straits and bust ur ass working to get that elusive A1.

but when u do get it, where do you go from there? for every expectation achieved, every goal accomplished, where does it go from there? do we sit around waiting to spill all our achievements and try rubbing our achieved expectation in every single person's face who pass us by? or do we set new expectations and new goals? hoping that this time will turn out like the last, our expectations achieved, our goals accomplished. it's a pretty screwed up gamble if u ask me. coz at the end of the road are 2 very different conclusions which lead to 2 painfully contrasting life endings. i'll b the first to admit thou. i'm dumb enough to take that gamble every single day and every time something happens. coz what is heart break and sorrow when there might b unadultered joy and sheer pride at the end of the line?

soundtrack:- Howie Day - Collide

pretty screwed up from expecting,

Becky